He trashman is real and we summoned him
What episode is Frank the trashman?
Who plays the trash man?
Who are you in the trash man?
Where is the trash man from?
trashman, the trashman, the trashman is real and we summoned him, mythology & fiction explained, always sunny, frank Reynolds, it's always sunny in Philadelphia, Danny DeVito, trash king, Halloween, Halloween stories
trashman, the trashman, the trashman is real and we summoned him, mythology & fiction explained, always sunny, frank Reynolds, it's always sunny in Philadelphia, Danny DeVito, trash king, Halloween, Halloween stories
(mythology & fiction explained)
👉👉👉Halloween used to be my favorite holiday a time of the year where you could dress up as someone else and have fun without being judged but as you get older those times a few and far if you're reading or listening to this this is not a joke the trashman is real we summoned him and our lives will never be the same I've never shared what really happened that night of anyone but maybe our experiences will stop others making the same mistake the story begins a few years ago with a video a video that this rather stupid and irresponsible youtuber thought would be funny The Legend of the trash man Lovecraft's undiscovered work a seemingly harmless April Fool's joke pretending the trash man had some kind of secret law and wasn't just part of a TV show a story about a homeless man down on his luck killed by a gang of thieves over a cup of coffee except he didn't die he encountered an entity that resurrected him as the king of trash destined to bring with him the trash pocalypse and the end of the world I'll admit at
👉👉👉the time it was pretty funny but this is the Internet you can't just make a joke and expect everyone to understand that it's not real in a matter of weeks brain nuts and Mongoloids all over the world started cults in the trash man's name every Starbucks was flooded with people desperate for a venti sugar-free nonfat vanilla soy double shaunt decaf no foam extra hot peppermint white chocolate mocha of light with an extra syrup just so they could get a taste of their new Lord and saviors favorite beverage worst of all the trash man had been thrust into the mainstream numerous rituals and incantations that could summon the trashman circulated the Internet reddit 4chan Facebook Twitter it was everywhere of course the Instagram models and influencer leeches pounced on the chance to sell diet plans and workouts inspired and certified by the trashman you can finally have that beach body you've always deserved just stop recycling and inhale trash you can smell the weight loss the twitch streamers and youtubers had their trash flavored G fuel which contained real authentic trash use code trash to get 15% of your order today I even heard that Netflix are making a trash man movie where the trash man was being played by none other than brie Larson because her acting is truly trash I'm sure you're starting to get my point the world had gone trash crazy but just like all fads it eventually died down when people realize that the rituals were fake and it was nothing more than an April Fool's prank turned into a giant cash grab it became another irrelevant trend destined to die even the guy who made the video in the first place disappeared some say he was taken by the trash man to his underground city whereas others say he just went back to making regular mythology videos no one really knows because YouTube notifications are trash anyway I digress now that you have an idea of what started everything I'll continue with my story I was in my senior year at college and come October I had some time off to study
👉👉👉but that was the last thing I wanted to do so I decided to head back home and visit my friends for Halloween if anyone enjoyed the holiday as much as I did it was them they'd always have a massive party every year but that kind of stopped when we all went off to college and did our own things I got there about a week early just the CSUN family I grew up in southern Philadelphia so MIT wasn't that far away I don't really know why I didn't visit home more often the day I arrived we agreed to meet up at our local diner Frankie's my best friend Zach his girlfriend Kayleigh and Charley Zack and Kelly were there on time but Charlie was running late as usual so we ordered without him as usual we spoke for a while and it seemed as if nothing had really changed from the last time they were both happy together with jobs they enjoyed and a bunch of holidays planned you know couple things I was pretty focused on school and Charlie from the sound of it was now working part-time in a thrift store about an hour in when we were getting ready to leave Charlie came bundling through the door with that grin on his face the same grin that always indicated he had something stupid plan he slid into our booth and slammed down an old beaten up book on the table you guys know what that is no charlie but I'm sure you're gonna tell us we all humored him that my fellow worms is the Necronomicon as in Lovecraft's Necronomicon Kaley seemed more interested in Zack and I did yeah damn right that's the one some guy in a suit and shades dropped it off today at the store when I asked him how much he wanted for it the idiot just walked away and what do you plan on doing with it Zack intervened using it obviously look at all these rituals there's even one for the trash man this has to be the real deal you're still obsessed of finding the trash man even after all this time we're not all resting just get up and leave and go work for NASA maybe this is my shot at being someone Zack and Kaley didn't seem too bothered like they'd heard this story before my place tonight and we can go over what's inside and see if it's real we'll be there and Kelly answered for them both Charlie turned to me waiting for an answer no sounds like a waste of time come on what happened to Dennis the Menace you remember with a crazy ship we did when we were younger first of all no one ever called me that and we're not kids anymore sounds like MIT has made Dennis the Menace a real Grouch one last adventure before you forget us all I remembered I was there to have fun fine let's do it and just like that Dennis
👉👉👉the Menace is back stop calling me that Charlie darted out of the booth are you not gonna order anything does that question him no time I have to prepare for what the rituals there's more to them than just reciting some mumbo jumbo I told you guys this is the real deal and just like that he was gone good to see Charlie is still Charlie the last few years have been pretty tough on him and we haven't exactly been great friends Charlie had lost his mother a few years ago the only family he had and we all went off to college he had this crazy idea that if he could find the trash man he could bring her back and none of us really had the heart to tell him how insane that sounded he doesn't still think that he can bring he does we've tried to help him but it always just ends up back at the trash man I think it's the only thing that keeps him going we didn't say much after that the three of us just sat there in silence I guess we felt the same guilt for allowing Charlie to get this bad for being such shitty friends when I got to Charlie's house I felt uneasy I don't know if it was the weather or the fact I hadn't been back there since his mother passed away Charlie greeted me at the door before I could even knock well now look who's late the power's out by the way so grab a candle and follow me were almost ready I followed Charlie down to the basement where Zack and Kaley were waiting around a candle lit table Charlie's basement was more of a bomb shelter his mother was convinced that the end was coming and when it did she would be prepared so I guess insanity runs in the family remind me again why we're doing this in the basement in the dark during a storm just like every horror movie we've ever seen if you don't think it's real then why does it even matter I couldn't disagree with Charlie there I didn't believe in any of this and after all this night was for him so I took a seat of the others who looked equally as confused as I did you can take a look inside the book and while I get everything ready I looked over at Zack you thinking the covers really made out of human skin no idea but I ain't touch in there stop being babies it's just leather Kaley flipped over the cover landing on a random page the summoning of the Damon and the summoning of the Night Man they both looked over at me looks like garbage to me she turned the page more incoherent symbols some language I'd never seen and a bunch of grotesque pictures this is pretty weird but it's also pretty awesome Zack noted an agreement but I still couldn't shake that feeling from earlier the secrets of ROM ham look at everything it makes love potion transmutation box everlasting youth elixir grow your own Magnum dong whatever that means we should definitely test some of this stuff Kaylee seemed pretty sold already and I'd be lying if I said it didn't interest me Charlie's been gone for let us begin maggots charlie slammed down a tree before Zach could finish what the hell is that this Dennis is all the ingredients we need to summon the trash man we each took a Starbucks cup from Charlie drink up and we can begin the ritual I'm not drinking anything until you tell us what's inside of it it's a venti sugar-free nonfat vanilla soy double short decaf no foam extra hot peppermint white chocolate mocha of light whip a nectar syrup obviously and what else it smells like sewage it's better if you drink up first without a second thought was act down the entire camp shortly followed by Charlie and Kaylee who by the lips and their faces didn't seem too bothered I wasn't gonna be the only one who was down I closed my eyes pinched my nose and went to my happy place whatever it was it was thick lumpy and watery all at the same time i gagged once or twice but it went down when I opened my eyes all three of them were throwing up into a cauldron like a bowl they wiped themselves off and turned to face me as if it was my turn you have to throw up in the bowl Charlie explained as if it was obvious I don't need to I'm good the entire ritual won't work if you don't I'm not sticking my fingers down my throat just continue you know you were right it smelt like sewage because one of the main ingredients was sewer water what else did you put inside Kaylee inquired looking like she was ready to blow her top well
👉👉👉whatever was on the list you know Apple skin hand sanitizer glue spray paint sewage rat meat and hard-boiled eggs all blended up and added to some coffee oh and the secret ingredient Charlie lifted up his sockless feet and wiggled his toes freshly cut toenails that was enough for me to begin hurling into the cauldron you made us string that Kaylie stone suggests that she wasn't so interested in the book anymore yes I knew we were going to throw up so it's not really dangerous is it you made us drink your fucking toenails Charlie Zack chimed in looking as peeved as Kaylee and I I cut my toenails a few weeks ago but the homeless guy across the street did sell me his own personal collection they weren't freshly cut and that just adds more character just when I thought I was done I found myself face first in that bowl again throwing up whatever was left over from the first time once everyone had calmed down we continued Charlie grab the book and turned to a page of a man on a throne of trash you ready we all nodded in the least convincing manner possible he closed his eyes throw up his hood and stirred whatever was in that bowl and then it began Charlie was a lot of things a weirdo moron disgusting and more than just slightly crazy but he was also a showman in the house of trash the King lays dormant in his palace of garbage he awaits in the rivers of sewage he stands monster dong in hand please o mighty and well-endowed trash man accept this gift of sewer soup made only with the finest toenail clippings we ask only for an audience with the Lord of trash and in exchange our soul was you can take wait a second I didn't such Charlie hushed away any concerns from Zack and continued I take this holy creature and with it I give you a piece of myself he dangled a dead rat in the air before dropping it and spitting into the bowl we sat there in silence waiting after ten minutes I had had enough well that was great now I'm gonna go find some mouthwash and probably net look Charlie was pointing at the ball it began to boil once well I checked underneath for a hot plate but there wasn't one it's happening I told you it was the real deal we were all speechless I don't think any of us expected anything from this trainwreck of an idea all of a sudden the boiling stopped and the rat resurfaced floating in the gunk I moved in closer but as I did it sprung to life leaping out of the bowl and onto the table it stumbled around for a while before standing on its hind legs what are you fucktard looking at I guess this is where the story gets crazy the voice didn't come from any of us it came from the rats stood on two legs staring at me expecting an answer a talking rat wasn't like at muster out of shock oh great another 63 IQ human meddling with things a djembe how did you form Mongoloids get this book then rats don't talk I see it's gonna be one of those days is it you know if
👉👉👉I were human I'd shove my fist right in your ass hard and fast but not in a sexual way in the I'm pissed off sword away a man in the black suit gave it to me toe guy wears shades looks like Vin Diesel skinny cousin but you can actually understand what we say yeah that's the guy oh boy the boss isn't opening like this not one bit the boss you mean the trash man Charlie couldn't hide his excitement yeah a new idiot summoned him when he's got important business to take care of he will not be pleased so he is coming then unfortunately for you yes and the rat left off a table and onto the floor the names cricket by the way not rat but you'll be joining me soon anyway except you it pointed at me and gave me the finger fuck you fuckface that was the last thing it said before disappearing into the floorboards Charlie was ecstatic running around the room fist pumping and screaming the rest of us was still confused did we drink sewage reanimate a talking rat who then proceeded to insult you and talk about fisting you ya think we did I'm glad Zach finish my sentence because it sounded ridiculous what do you think he meant when he said we'd be joining him soon I don't know Kayleigh it's a fucking talking rat none of this makes any sense it does I trained in whatever we drank was obviously spiked or laced or something the entire thing was just a hallucination I tried desperately to find some kind of rational explanation a hallucination that we all saw Kayleigh was as unconvinced as I was it's late we're all confused and were all tired and I've personally had enough talking rats and toenails for a lifetime let's just go home that was the most rational thing I had heard all evening and that's what we did the next few days were surprisingly quiet we were all on edge except for Charlie who was eagerly awaiting our visit from the trash man as the days when buying Charlie grew more and more frustrated whereas the rest of us were just relieved it was all bullshit Halloween came and so did the party I'd forgotten about it was at Charlie's place which made sense considering he didn't care what kind of mess was left behind honestly I didn't want to go but I had already bought my costume well it wasn't much of a costume I was going as James Bond the suit I already had so I just ordered the bowtie in a toy gun I was running late that night because I couldn't get my bowtie straight and my OCD just wouldn't let me go nice suit you got there fuck oh I turned to my right and sitting on the basin was the same rat from that night you're not real piss off I had hoped if I said it out loud it might be true I'm about as real with your gaping anus when I am done with it because if I was human again I'd shout yeah yeah I get it you'd shove that face right in my ass hard and fast but not in a sexual way year weirdo you summoned me enough of that attitude unless you what do you want nothing I'm just here to enjoy your last night of course because the trash man is coming to get me Oh No yeah yeah everybody's a tough guy in today that a fist in their anus that's not something people say you just made that up of course an uncultured swine and a simpleton like you would think that well you meant to be anyway a smartly dressed retard no I'm James Bond the only thing you and double-oh-seven have in common is that how many brain cells you got floating around your tiny human peanut brain I had had about enough of this rat insulting me I reach for my can of deodorant but as I turned to spray he was gone I thought about calling the others and telling them what I'd seen but it was Halloween I needed a break and I needed to have some fun and I wasn't gonna let some anus obsessed talking rat ruin that for me I was late and I was pissed off but I was going to that party trash man or not when I arrived it was pretty much what I expected a bunch of drunk 20-somethings trying their hardest to forget that they were now adults with responsibilities it was every college party you'd ever seen but in fancy dress so I guess that made it a tad more bearable people were dancing drinking shouting and stumbling all over the place I went to school with most of these people but they seemed like strangers I wondered what they were doing now what life choices they made and whether they were truly happy because they seemed happier than me I bumped into Zach before I get too deep into my own head you're late yeah long story well Charlie has officially lost it what's he done now see for yourself I followed him to the kitchen where Charlie was jumping on the counter there were chants of rum ham rum ham Charlie had a ham on a stick which he was dousing in rum he took a lighter and set
👉👉👉the home on fire rum ham for you my lord he thinks the trashman is coming to his party is that good see I wasn't as dismissive as he was what are you not telling me well the talking rat paid me a visit today he smirked he came back to give you that fist thing after all no well kind of but he said the trash man was coming tonight the smirk on his face quickly disappeared where's Kaylee I don't know we came here together but I haven't seen her in the past hour you don't think she's in trouble I don't know give her a call I scoured the room but there was no sign of her what I did find was worse up and down the skirting boards and stairs there were rats two lanes of them some coming and some going there was one at the front door looking at me giving me the finger I guess that was cricket a turn to Zac who shook his head Cayley was an answering I showed him the rats and we decided to follow them upstairs Charlies place was huge but if she was here we'd find her the trail led us to the bathroom both of us knew what could be on the other side of that door but it didn't matter Zac nudge it open and we forced ourselves in I'm not sure what I was expecting but it wasn't what we found there in front of us was Kaylee at least part of her she was inside the toilet we couldn't see her lower half but her upper half was trying desperately to pull herself out hello boys I've been waiting you must be Zachary and this lest an impressive specimen I take it is Dennis the Mandan introduced himself he didn't have to we knew who he was after all we summoned him Kaylee was still struggling and calling out for help silence the trash man snapped his fingers in her mouth filled of hard-boiled eggs
👉👉👉so why have I been summoned here again Zack and I could muster no word what's the matter rat got your tongue cat he moved closer to Zack what I believe it's cat got your tongue not rat incorrect rats are superior to cats in every way that's not what I said I don't care what you said this toilet appears to be backed up shall we give it a flush he snapped his fingers again and the toilet began to swell we watched as Kaylee span round and around before completely disappearing Zack was far more animated than I was where did you send her to my kingdom bring her back now no well you're welcome to join her Zak turned to me as if I had the answer I just shook my head you'll never see her again it's your choice Zachary come with me and be with her forever or stay here with this useless turd I'm sorry did I have to find her I'd like to think I would have done the same in Zach's position but I'm no hero okay I'll go excellent choice you will make a fine trash monkey he snapped his fingers once more and the Starbucks cup appeared in his hand drink and you shall join your lab what is it it's what you drank in order to summon me only more authentic Zach took a swig and began to choke he dropped to his knees and started convulsing I looked to the trash man but he just laughed another trash monkey to add to the collection ah when I look back at Zach he was gone his clothing was in a pile on the floor but he was nowhere to be seen a small rat crawled out from his trouser leg the trash man picked it up and down with it over the toilet say goodbye to your friend he's going to a happier place I probably should have been more concerned about seeing two of my best friends being flushed down a toilet but none of this made sense how do you flush a person down a toilet magic of course this Denis is why you are not ready to join us you do not believe I only accept the finest misfits those who have no dreams no aspirations those who society is beat down upon because they do not conform you are not of the finest you are of the worst you still think a high-paying job makes you better than others you think a high social standing will make them respect you and better yet you think it will make you happy the worst part of all of this was nothing he said was untrue the bathroom door opened and charlie wobbled in clearly intoxicated Dennis did I ever tell you he paused when he saw the trash man hey trash man and I knew you were real you are most certainly of the finest hair oh thank you thank you come with me to trash topia Charlie a place where you will finally feel at home a place where rivers of coffee flow endlessly where hookers and blow a mandatory and where we feast on rum hammer every night that sounds good but can you bring back my mum first there is no need she's already waiting for us Wow okay I'm in I watched him repeat the same process as Zack but Charlie obviously enjoyed the drink with rat Charlie in Han the trash man gave me his final speech you will see your friends eventually you're still full of hope you want to put people on Mars you want a wife and a family but I will make sure you have none of that so go ahead finish school get your dream job meet a nice girl just when you think all of the hard work is finally paying off I will return and take it all I will reach my fist deep inside of your anus and I will take everything why what did I ever do because I'm the trash man I come out I throw trash all over there all over the ring and then I start eating garbage and then I pick up the trash can and I bashed a guy over the head that doesn't answer my question it doesn't even make sense he gave me the finger before jumping into the toilet and disappearing with Charlie the police never found any of them just a bunch of kids gone missing after getting drunk I never did finish college I dropped out when I was institutionalized ironically there isn't much left for the trash man to take you'd be surprised how many people in these places aren't actually crazy but their stories just like mine are dismissed as the ramblings of a lunatic every Halloween I can feel his presence a pulsating feeling in my anus this year feels like it might be the last
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